IT’S NOT THE END AFTER ALL–How God rocked my 2012!

 

I’m a whiner – I complain almost about everything and as this year ends, let me correct that by counting my blessings. Here’s the top four (4) blessings which rocked my 2012. Read on as I might have shared some of these moments with you.

1. MY MBA JOURNEY

Since late 4th quarter last year (2011), I’ve been doing some paper works for my application to UP Diliman’s MBA Program. This has been a dream of mine and I’m very grateful that I was able to take the first step to accomplish this in 2012.

Went through the first wave of exams some time in Feb – failed several subjects and attended the Summer Workshops and took the 2nd exam along with a few hundred other aspirants some time April or May – yes, I am not the only one (excused). Fortunately, I passed the second and final wave of exams. June came and with God’s provision, I was able to register three subjects and that was just a start – braved the first term then came 2nd term whose grades aren’t yet out as of this writing – more fun eh?!

2. SUMMER @ ISLA VERDE

As part of the family’s annual itinerary, we spent the holy week at Isla Verde, Batangas. Reunited with cousins from my father side, witnessed Natay’s thirst for the quiet life quenched and basically, rested my troubled self… I’m just blessed to spend this stress-free week with the best support system – NaTay and Kuya.

3. MY 25TH BIRTHDAY

A classic and simple celebration of my 25th birthday with friends. 2012 has been a very busy year but I always find time to sit down, talk with friends and unwind. This has already been our tradition of getting drunk – eh, of updating each other and de-stressing. A simple way to celebrate life – 25 years of blessedness!

4. ATTENDING 2012 KCON

God definitely paved the way for me to attend the 2012 Kerygma Conference. ‘Been attending The Feast with Kuya, Marvin and Natay but the KCON experience as my mentor shared with me if really different. Struggled with my school and work calendar at first but yes! God, thru my kuya, who gave me my KCON ticket for my 25th birthday, paved the way for me to experience KCON, hear God’s message and be blessed.

…and the list goes on! (There are still things which I intend to keep to myself) 

2012 IS THE YEAR – met new people, reunited with relatives and friends, learned new things, unlearned some, got frustrated, excited…and all throughout 2012, and as it has always been, I felt HE was with me – HE made HIS presence felt!

Feng shui experts say that those born on the year of the rabbit will have a hard time this year – well, I am now claiming that this will not be the case for me: I will have a richer experience, will do greater things and achieve greater heights – with my able God who never fails to shine His light through us and amaze us of life’s wonders – 2013 will be BRIGHTER.

Why I do the things I do

This is me thinking aloud.

We do what we do because we want to - this is passion.

We do what we do because we need to - this is responsibility.

We ask for things to happen because we want them to happen. Hoping that our prayers will be answered, we look forward to that particular day. However, it doesn't end there. Almost always, we have to give up something or at the least, compromise.

Spidey said, "with great power comes great responsibility". 

I'd like to believe that I am passionate in what I do - that I do the things I do because I want to.

But there are those times, just like now, when I find myself asking that busabos, "What are you doing this for?". I find myself being pulled by two forces: 

1) the first one telling me that I asked for this, so I have to live up to the expectations of people and be responsible (panindigan na lang). As much as I want to be positive and tell myself that this disengagement that I am going through is part of the process - "test kumbaga". And that once I am able to win over these, I will be a better person.

2) the second one is the skeptic child who asks, "what for?" and tells me, "you are just wasting your time!". Who are we to know if the things that we do today will be really worth something someday? But hey! This skeptic child wants to be certain and needs a panacea - "sigurista lang". We only live once and we can never turn back time or take back the time we spend in foolish stuff.

Busy people as much as people who want to appear busy would often complain, "so much to do, so little time". It sends a message that the person is having a hard time deciding what to do with the (little) time that he or she actually has. If I were to train myself, I would share the concept of Q2 Time Management with this busabos - what's urgent VS. what's important, learn to put first things first! BIG WORDS indeed! 

Everything that we do today is instrumental in shaping our future selves.

I guess, after writing my thoughts down, the dilemma is not between doing things out of passion or out of responsibility, it is more of being ready to what the future holds - how would would the things that we do now, both those which we willingly do and those which we are compelled to do, shape our future?

Problem solved? Nah! But at least I was able to write my thoughts down and establish a more sound dilemma (or so I think). I might also got you thinking of the things you do. Sorry if I did. Again, this is just me, thinking aloud. 

A year older

'Turned a year older last November 3. Admittedly and proudly, I can say that I am not the same person that I was 10 or even 5 years ago. Thanks to the people who stood beside me throughout my 24 years of existence - NaTay and kuya; my friends from Mindoro; batchmates,

orgmates, dormates from UPLB; friends and mentors from CSE, PeopleStrong and iPlus.

Learned a lot - I'd like to put it that way.

Persevered to get to where I am right now yet I know I still need to put a lot more effort if I am to be successful.

Failed several times but managed to stand up every time yet I know there are still mountains to climb to get to where I want to be.

Received praises from mentors as well as criticisms from other people yet I know feedback will still be there and I need to accept these if I am to be perfect.

Experienced my highs and lows yet I know my highest high and lowest low are yet to come, I will be resilient if I am to be strong.

I'm ready and looking forward. I'll go places. I'll grow stonger. I'll shine brighter.

HAVING A TASTE OF THE REAL CORPORATE WORLD: A note written to oneself to keep things in perspective.

As you march your way to get a hand to that diploma, a man in corporate clothing flashes in your mind. Carrying a suitcase, he proceeds to that glass door joining the swarm of people hurrying to the jam-packed elevator. Finally he enters his office with all familiar faces greeting him good morning and his secretary right behind his back briefing him of his schedule for the day. Subconsciously, you are already prepping yourself for the corporate world!

You have a pretty clear vision of what you want. All you have to do now is submit your applications to several top companies, take the exams, attend interviews and choose from the job offers that come your way. Suddenly you wake up and realized that you haven't received any JO's yet. You then open your email and send your resumes to the companies you consider next in rank to your priority list. A JO finally came your way and since it has already been 2 months since you graduated, you accepted it right away.

It's your first day at work and your work place looks nice and the people seems very accommodating. Day in - day out, you get acquainted with the norms of your work place - some things you like, most you hate. You now find yourself looking for another job. Now you finally had the chance to get thru one of the companies in your priority list. You survived the first day but on your 3rd week, you already find yourself struggling to even breathe amidst the people surrounding you who looked like Mr. and Ms. Nice guy/girl at first but now you consider bitches and monsters.

You now find yourself turning into one of the monsters you hated. While playing Plants VS. Zombies, you imagine your boss face who seemed to have mastered the art of delegation being ditched by frozen peas. You even ask God why wasn't he/she included in the bus bombing or the one caught shipping drugs and sentenced to death or even ask God why of all creatures create someone like him/her/it. You find your tested and proven assertive-style not working anymore - you're now more comfortable playing the role of the devil yourself.

This is reality. It’s a matter of looking at things. The satisfaction of a person depends on his attitude.

You now flood your head with quotes that should work to motivate you but aren't. So as to give it a better try, you read books. Maxwell... Coelho… but the only one that seems to work is Bob Ong's comic-relief booklets that makes you laugh your ass off.

(Light bulb! Moment) It's time for me to sit down and re-check my priorities and create a new career map! Maybe I should venture into becoming an entrepreneur! I'll create my own company and have things MY WAY. When I'm already the boss, I dictate how things will commence and shout at people who disobeys. IT'S PAY BACK TIME!

(Black-out) You don't have the capital. You don't have any business idea to start with. You don't have the right motives, right?

So what do we do now? Perhaps go to the high lands, play a role of a strawberry farmer or better, be a barista in one of the prime coffee shops up there while you are trying to figure out what you want. THIS WILL TAKE FOREVER!

This life is meant to be lived by trial and error - that, I would like to believe. So now it's "the more mistakes you commit, the more you learn" - NO. That's "over-positivizing" things.

Take a look back at your vision, what is being characterized in your dream? Basically two things, satisfaction and professional growth - if you happen to disagree with me, fine! Stop reading. Moving forward (I so hate this phrase!), these factors are determined by the nature of your work VS. your dream and the people surrounding you VS. yourself.

So it all boils down to me now huh?! Apparently YES. When you don't feel happy anymore with the things you are doing and with the people you're dealing with, you always have the option to move out. Then why are you still there despite all these bitches and monsters surrounding you? Factor number 2, professional growth - FACT: You know that there's a rainbow after the rain! You still believe that if you survive this chaotic, hell-like environment, you will become a better person. Someone who is more equipped - more than the technical knowledge, you now have the attitude to make it BIG out there. So be patient, take full control of yourself and your dream. As for the nature of your work and the people you are dealing with, just remember that at the end of the day, we just have to get things done at the highest level of quality possible and oh! We also have the freedom to choose who to befriend from the bunch of people we work with.

*illustration courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

The Future Looks Bright

The future looks bright, as of the moment it does.

It's been months since I wrote something here. Made some decisions. Moved up? Yes, I'd like to look at it that way.

The future looks bright, but I never imagined that such brightness would bring me much anxiety. Doubtful, I always am. Courageous, I'd like to look at it that way. I'm up for for challenges, things that would make my life more interesting. Passion to learn, have tons of it. Ask me to do something new and unfamiliar, I'll take the plunge. Do I deliver? Yes, for others. For me, I'm not that sure. I'm doubtful, indecisive - that should bring that justice.

Will I change, I hope so. I will work on it. I'm still young, I'll have plenty of time for that. For now, I'll go with the flow. Stand up for the challenges that come my way. Exert effort to continuously improve my self and perhaps prove to everyone that I'm worth that respect. I'll move up, definitely! My God is bigger than all my problems!

My Frustration

I want to be more that's why I read more.

The other night I started to read another book - it's about teaching. The 1st chapter reads - the first law of the teacher. It talks about our continuous need to grow - in mind, body, spirit and as part of a community. It says that we need to continuously grow because as teachers, we should be like running waters rather than a stagnant lake. It said that to grow, we must grow in all aspects of ourselves - that we should never compartmentalize religion (spirituality) with the others (intellectual, social, physical) and vice versa.

Now, my frustration.

As I read more books in my desire to grow and be more than what I already am, the things that I have to put into practice or apply in my everyday life grows like shit! There are areas in my life that admittedly, are left by a mile or two by other areas - does that explains why I am not yet the man I wish to be? Should I stop reading because instead of making me grow, it just makes me shrink into frustration?

Having been bombarded with the things that I should do in order to grow as a teacher and at large, as a man I realized that it was in the area of spirituality that I lack growth the most - not to mention the physical aspect.

I remember a friend saying that spirituality is different from being religious. As much as I want to agree with the statement, I get more and more confused.

All these authors that I've been reading says that it is the same - well, they never said it explicitly but as I understood their writings, they did. Fact is, I know the things that I should do as well as those things that I should avoid or refrain from doing but I just can't, I simply can't.

Just thinking about changing everything in my environment makes me feel like dying. I can't miss all these fun things! I can never be happy in a life of a boxed person - I'm an extrovert! But I know for a fact, that time will come that I have to choose and face the consequences of the decisions that I am making right now. Sooner or later, I will reap the harvest - will it be a fruitful one or the opposite? I don't know, none of us has the ability to know. For now, I'll just enjoy the mud, the sun, the heat, the rain as I sow seeds of friendship and love to this life that has been entrusted to me.

Love your work, Work for love, Work and love

Work gets routinary, we get bored, we resign, we find a new job, work gets routinary again, we get bored again, we resign again, we then find a new job AGAIN...and the search for a promising career to resignation becomes our ROUTINE a vicious cycle!

They say that all jobs will reach a point that things will become routinary, boring and demotivating. But what is the secret of successful professionals if this is true? How can someone enjoy doing something that he keeps on doing every minute of every day? Tell me about breathing. Is it a different thing? Sure it is! It's involuntary, and we need to breathe in order to be alive.

Having said that, is breathing really a different thing? Tell me...

They say it's passion. Passion is the love for the things that you do. Without passion for what we are doing, a person can stop at will, at anytime doing anything that he or she is pre-occupied with! It's optional - voluntary! Unlike breathing!

But isn't the will to live the reason behind breathing? Yes, breathing is involuntary but we have the option to engage in activities that will paralyze our lungs and STOP breathing, and DIE! Now, breathing and working may not be the same thing but isn't PASSION TO LIVE and PASSION TO PURSUE OUR DREAMS just the same? Passion is the ultimate reason for doing the things that we do.

How about love? How about waking up each morning seeing the same person beside you, going to work, going back home, having dinner, watching movies or just TV programs, having sex, sleeping and waking up just to the same thing all over again? Don't you have weekends? You may ask but that's just philosophizing things. So stop. Do we apply passion here? Passion to what?

By all means, YES! Apply passion in your love life! Passion to what? Is it plainly PASSION TO LOVE AND BE LOVED? Or is it as profound as PASSION TO GROW AND LEARN FROM AND FOR SOMEONE? I think it's actually relevant. First, ask ourselves what is it that sustains me to live with and care for this person? If we get answers that are temporal, think deeper. If nothing comes out, then maybe we don't have the PASSION and that we are just attracted and that we are not actually in love. So you leave the person you're with now? I don't know.

Bottomline is, for us to achieve self fulfillment, we have to have passion in our lives - in all aspects of it! This will sustain us to do the things that we do over and over again, fall in love with the same person each day and reach our full potential as an individual!