The Future Looks Bright

The future looks bright, as of the moment it does.

It's been months since I wrote something here. Made some decisions. Moved up? Yes, I'd like to look at it that way.

The future looks bright, but I never imagined that such brightness would bring me much anxiety. Doubtful, I always am. Courageous, I'd like to look at it that way. I'm up for for challenges, things that would make my life more interesting. Passion to learn, have tons of it. Ask me to do something new and unfamiliar, I'll take the plunge. Do I deliver? Yes, for others. For me, I'm not that sure. I'm doubtful, indecisive - that should bring that justice.

Will I change, I hope so. I will work on it. I'm still young, I'll have plenty of time for that. For now, I'll go with the flow. Stand up for the challenges that come my way. Exert effort to continuously improve my self and perhaps prove to everyone that I'm worth that respect. I'll move up, definitely! My God is bigger than all my problems!

My Frustration

I want to be more that's why I read more.

The other night I started to read another book - it's about teaching. The 1st chapter reads - the first law of the teacher. It talks about our continuous need to grow - in mind, body, spirit and as part of a community. It says that we need to continuously grow because as teachers, we should be like running waters rather than a stagnant lake. It said that to grow, we must grow in all aspects of ourselves - that we should never compartmentalize religion (spirituality) with the others (intellectual, social, physical) and vice versa.

Now, my frustration.

As I read more books in my desire to grow and be more than what I already am, the things that I have to put into practice or apply in my everyday life grows like shit! There are areas in my life that admittedly, are left by a mile or two by other areas - does that explains why I am not yet the man I wish to be? Should I stop reading because instead of making me grow, it just makes me shrink into frustration?

Having been bombarded with the things that I should do in order to grow as a teacher and at large, as a man I realized that it was in the area of spirituality that I lack growth the most - not to mention the physical aspect.

I remember a friend saying that spirituality is different from being religious. As much as I want to agree with the statement, I get more and more confused.

All these authors that I've been reading says that it is the same - well, they never said it explicitly but as I understood their writings, they did. Fact is, I know the things that I should do as well as those things that I should avoid or refrain from doing but I just can't, I simply can't.

Just thinking about changing everything in my environment makes me feel like dying. I can't miss all these fun things! I can never be happy in a life of a boxed person - I'm an extrovert! But I know for a fact, that time will come that I have to choose and face the consequences of the decisions that I am making right now. Sooner or later, I will reap the harvest - will it be a fruitful one or the opposite? I don't know, none of us has the ability to know. For now, I'll just enjoy the mud, the sun, the heat, the rain as I sow seeds of friendship and love to this life that has been entrusted to me.

Love your work, Work for love, Work and love

Work gets routinary, we get bored, we resign, we find a new job, work gets routinary again, we get bored again, we resign again, we then find a new job AGAIN...and the search for a promising career to resignation becomes our ROUTINE a vicious cycle!

They say that all jobs will reach a point that things will become routinary, boring and demotivating. But what is the secret of successful professionals if this is true? How can someone enjoy doing something that he keeps on doing every minute of every day? Tell me about breathing. Is it a different thing? Sure it is! It's involuntary, and we need to breathe in order to be alive.

Having said that, is breathing really a different thing? Tell me...

They say it's passion. Passion is the love for the things that you do. Without passion for what we are doing, a person can stop at will, at anytime doing anything that he or she is pre-occupied with! It's optional - voluntary! Unlike breathing!

But isn't the will to live the reason behind breathing? Yes, breathing is involuntary but we have the option to engage in activities that will paralyze our lungs and STOP breathing, and DIE! Now, breathing and working may not be the same thing but isn't PASSION TO LIVE and PASSION TO PURSUE OUR DREAMS just the same? Passion is the ultimate reason for doing the things that we do.

How about love? How about waking up each morning seeing the same person beside you, going to work, going back home, having dinner, watching movies or just TV programs, having sex, sleeping and waking up just to the same thing all over again? Don't you have weekends? You may ask but that's just philosophizing things. So stop. Do we apply passion here? Passion to what?

By all means, YES! Apply passion in your love life! Passion to what? Is it plainly PASSION TO LOVE AND BE LOVED? Or is it as profound as PASSION TO GROW AND LEARN FROM AND FOR SOMEONE? I think it's actually relevant. First, ask ourselves what is it that sustains me to live with and care for this person? If we get answers that are temporal, think deeper. If nothing comes out, then maybe we don't have the PASSION and that we are just attracted and that we are not actually in love. So you leave the person you're with now? I don't know.

Bottomline is, for us to achieve self fulfillment, we have to have passion in our lives - in all aspects of it! This will sustain us to do the things that we do over and over again, fall in love with the same person each day and reach our full potential as an individual!

Still enjoying the feeling of being with old friends and revisiting the fresh air and green landscape of my beloved UPLB.

It's almost two years now since I graduated and started working. Worked for 2 companies already. Met new people, made new friends, learned new things, unlearned some things - yet, I still would like to go back to the times when I was just walking across the freedom park from the dorm to my class.

Elbi really taught me a lot. Setting aside those lectures, fieldtrips and other academe-bound activities, I really learned a lot. I learned to be independent. I learned to face the consequences of my actions without the comfort of my bed - in our house. I learned to make new friends and socialize. I learned to drink, smoke and stay up late for DOTA. It was really a mix of good and bad things - it was a rich experience spending 4 years in elbi. The friends I've made and bond committed with elbi's ground is so strong that I can't seem to get away from it. I will always go back to elbi no matter what.