Counting My Blessings, Sharing My Dreams

It’s new year’s eve so I am obliged to put my 2013 adventures in writing along with my personal goals for 2014. This is my way of: (1) sharing a testimony of God’s love and generosity; (2) clearing my thoughts of negativity; (3) publicly committing my personal goals; and (4) sharing my happiness and dreams with family and friends who find it worthwhile to read my blog entries.

Eat Less, Save More and Do More! – this was my mantra for 2013. Recounting my blog entry last year, I listed 5 goals for 2013 – the verdict? Let me revisit these personal goals starting with those which I have accomplished. Yes, I failed with some but still happy with how the year turned out.

(1) GET FIT – Committing myself to regular workout sessions at Gold’s Gym since March and a fruit diet over summer, I was able to lose 28lbs from my frustrating 192lbs starting weight. Progress fluctuated over the months but I am now confident that I won’t go up the 170 mark and determined to keep it that way! I now feel better and more confident – I can wear whatever I want as long as I can afford it. Haha!

2014:  Last year, I clearly stated that I don’t want to get ripped. This year, I want to get a little ripped and as a friend of mine would declare, we’ll have bora bodies by summer, else; no beach life for us. Ha! This means, more time in the gym and since I don’t want to bulk-up, I might try swimming – no, I am committing to regular sessions in the pool!

(2) A GREAT SUMMER GETAWAY – Yes, the annual Isla Verde trip with family during the Holy Week happened and because of a team-building engagement, was able to go up north and explored La Union and the Hundred Islands! To cap the year off, also toured the country’s summer capital which I think, is also a hit during the ber-months.

2014: Boracay and Palawan are on the list! That is, if I will be able to achieve a beach-able body by summer. For this, I have to commit to my fitness goals and of course, save money for these trips.

(3) TEACH, (4) SOME MORE CEREBRAL ACTIVITIES & (5) HOMECOMING were also on my list. Failed – I wasn’t able to enter the academe as planned. Failed – I still get bored reading business news unless required in class. Failed – Haven’t seen SJOM this year. Two out of five. Not so good eh?

While nothing compares to coming back home to San Jose, I‘d like to believe that this year taught me more valuable lessons – things which I cannot get from the newspaper or lecturing in the university halls. Not that I am downplaying reading business news and teaching because I wasn’t able to put a check on the tick box beside these goals, I just feel more blessed being under the circumstances which I found myself this year.

Went through tough times in my personal and professional life – for this, my heart goes out to my iPLUS family: my mentor – Ms.Josette; colleagues in the IRM-HR Group; my Talent Development Team and everyone who helped me out and even those who made the times more challenging. Of course, my family for keeping me motivated and inspired to do greater things and my Yamyam for being ever so supportive. I am closing this year, better than my 2012 self because God has blessed me with these people!

2014: I am compelled to come home to San Jose this year for our high school class reunion - It’s been 10 years since I exited the campus grounds and indeed, a lot has changed! It will sure be a lot of fun recounting my adventures as a teen with long-time friends. On the other hand, I am not giving up on developing the habit of reading business news and teaching – though I’m a bit iffy with the latter. Perhaps I’ll finish grad school first and then, re-enter the academe as a Professor.

God has indeed blessed me this year (2013) and I’m optimistic about 2014! My prayer this year, is good health and happier disposition for myself and family, to succeed in my new professional undertakings and be more financially stable. Indeed, if one clearly defines his goals and puts his heart to it, he’ll be unstoppable and success will be inevitable!

Keeping the tradition, here’s my 2014 List which I now treat as my personal KRAs (Key Result Areas) which have their respective KPIs (Key Performance Indicators):

KPI 1: Health – with a healthy body, one can do more! Aside from the fact that being healthy means being more productive as an OD Professional and taking on more adventures as a student of life, I am extending this personal goal to the keeping NaTay healthy. And of course, since I defined adventure partly as Bora and Palawan trips this year, healthier also means fitter – remember, a beach-able body by summer.

• KRA 1: Body Mass Index (BMI) down to 20 by April 2014

KPI 2: Wealth – having been blessed as 2013 closed, I plan and am committed to put this into good use! I’ll revisit my investment skills and engage in sound business ventures.

• KRA 2: Monthly investment activity
• KRA 3: Exponential increase in personal cash flow
• KRA 4: Bora and/or Palawan trip by summer and homecoming by December

KPI 3: Depth – more cerebral activity for 2014 as I take on new roles plus, the next three terms in grad school will be loaded as the comprehensive exams awaits us in Feb 2015. And as I welcome 2014 with these learning opportunities, I am preparing myself to acquire more knowledge and master more skills from work and from professionals whom I will have the chance to work with.

• KRA 5: General Weighted Average of 1.75 by December 2014
• KRA 6: Outstanding Performance Appraisal by December 2014

So friends, help me, pray for me? And to end this blog entry, I’m quoting The Feast’s Declaration of Abundance. Happy new year!

“Today, I receive all God’s love for me. Today, I open myself to the unbounded, limitless, overflowing abundance of God’s Universe. Today, I open myself to your blessings, healing and miracles. Today, I open myself to God’s Word so that I become more like Jesus everyday. Today, I proclaim that I’m God’s Beloved, I’m God’s Servant, I’m God’s Powerful Champion, and because I am blessed, I will bless the world, In Jesus Name, Amen.”

Regrets

 

“Who doesn’t long for someone to hold, who knows how to love you without being told?” I’m sorry for not being the soul mate I know you’re longing for – someone who deserves you.

How could I have been so selfish and unkind to someone who has shown me nothing but pure genuine love? I got used to being taken cared of that I neglected to reciprocate.

Now I’m left with no resort but to wait for your verdict. Fearing that the battle has already been lost, I drown myself with memories we shared.

You were there with me from the beginning. Held my hand when I was in doubt and guided me when I was out of focus. You were more than a lover, you have been my partner in crime for the last 5 years. I may not have been able to reciprocate the love and care that you’ve unselfishly shown but I am thankful that I was able to share the past 5 years with you.

You said to take my time and use this space that we have between us right now to re-think things – that this might be my chance to move out and change. The same thing which we discussed before when our journey almost ended. But, you didn’t give up on us then. You never gave up on me.

I don’t know what to think of or to wish for right now. One thing is for sure, I miss you already and this is just Day 1. The circumstances which I brought us to are far different from the ones we had before. The future is really uncertain but hey, I lived with that for the past 5 years and I don’t mind living for the present while I am in your presence.

I still love you but I don’t know what’s the best choice for us now. I pray that God would speak to our hearts and discourse with our minds and bring us to the place where we ought to be.

I am really sorry for hurting you. I really am. I love you. I still do.

EAT LESS, SAVE MORE AND DO MORE!

 

I’m not a writer but after writing my 2012 year-end blog last night, I felt much better – I was able to let go of the negativity and uncertainty which, I guess was there with me for most part of the year. And so, I’ll be doing it again, here are my personal commitments for 2013: EAT LESS, SAVE MORE AND DO MORE!

Starting my MBA dream kept me busy last year. Most of my decisions were based on this single goal – I didn’t want to compromise study hours and study-related expenses for other stuff. This 2013, I plan to spice things a bit and live more – and I claim that I will BE MORE!

1. GET FIT. I don’t plan to get ripped, I just want a flat tummy. For the nth time, I am committing myself to a healthier me and this time, I’m determined to succeed – so help me God! I am not sure if our company’s partnership with a fitness gym will push thru – great if it does! It’s so expensive to enroll in a gym! If not, then I will find good use for these dumbbells which I bought a year ago and Camp Bagong Diwa’s grounds whose just a stone’s throw away from our apartment.

2. TEACH. “Tao ka lang”, this is what I got from a friend when I told the group that I plan to teach – this is considering the fact that my “weekday days” (8am-5pm) is already devoted to my full time work while my “weekday nights” (5pm-11pm) are spent at UP Diliman. When I toyed on the idea of transferring to another school for my masters – this was one of the things which got me thinking – study masters for free and have the opportunity to teach! ‘Twas very tempting and honestly, I haven’t explored the potential of this idea yet – which I might in the next few weeks. I just got high last night that I decided to continue my masters at UP Diliman. Just like my MBA dream, teaching is one of my passion. Yes, I’m doing corporate training but a part of me longs to reunite with the youth. I think this will also help me feel younger – I feel I’m getting a year older each day.

3. FEED MY BRAIN. Are MBA readings and exercises not enough? As shared with you earlier, I plan to spice things up - add more flavor! I plan to read more of Bo’s works to quench my thirst for spiritual and inspirational stuff. Read business news – who knows, this might be part of the bonus question in the MBA exams! This year, I want to live a balanced life and I believe that starting off with having the right thoughts would be a great start!

4. INDULGE IN A GREAT SUMMER GETAWAY. I still plan to go with NaTay and Kuya at Isla Verde like we always do for the holy week but I think a few more VLs plotted in April or May wouldn’t hurt. Boracay and Palawan are the top choices but anywhere that will offer me something new to do will be great!

5. COME HOME. It’s been ages since I last visited my hometown – San Jose, Occidental Mindoro. Often, my family and I would opt to stay here in Taguig or at least go to Batangas due to financial considerations. I would also stubbornly insist to stay here to avoid conflicts with relatives brought by the very nature of people I grew up with. This year, with a more mature perspective and a wiser use of my resources, I will come home – as for the conflicts, a few days won’t hurt I guess.

EAT LESS, SAVE MORE AND DO MORE.

Experts say that it takes 30 days to form a habit – then the whole month of January will be critical! I need to watch what I think, say and do. If I am to live a full life this year, I need to start now – that means, eating the right food and managing my resources (time and money) wiser.

2012 has been great and as for 2013 – it will just keep on getting better! Feng shui experts say that it’s the year of the Snake but I believe and claim that this will be my year! Cheers to a rich and fun-filled year ahead!

IT’S NOT THE END AFTER ALL–How God rocked my 2012!

 

I’m a whiner – I complain almost about everything and as this year ends, let me correct that by counting my blessings. Here’s the top four (4) blessings which rocked my 2012. Read on as I might have shared some of these moments with you.

1. MY MBA JOURNEY

Since late 4th quarter last year (2011), I’ve been doing some paper works for my application to UP Diliman’s MBA Program. This has been a dream of mine and I’m very grateful that I was able to take the first step to accomplish this in 2012.

Went through the first wave of exams some time in Feb – failed several subjects and attended the Summer Workshops and took the 2nd exam along with a few hundred other aspirants some time April or May – yes, I am not the only one (excused). Fortunately, I passed the second and final wave of exams. June came and with God’s provision, I was able to register three subjects and that was just a start – braved the first term then came 2nd term whose grades aren’t yet out as of this writing – more fun eh?!

2. SUMMER @ ISLA VERDE

As part of the family’s annual itinerary, we spent the holy week at Isla Verde, Batangas. Reunited with cousins from my father side, witnessed Natay’s thirst for the quiet life quenched and basically, rested my troubled self… I’m just blessed to spend this stress-free week with the best support system – NaTay and Kuya.

3. MY 25TH BIRTHDAY

A classic and simple celebration of my 25th birthday with friends. 2012 has been a very busy year but I always find time to sit down, talk with friends and unwind. This has already been our tradition of getting drunk – eh, of updating each other and de-stressing. A simple way to celebrate life – 25 years of blessedness!

4. ATTENDING 2012 KCON

God definitely paved the way for me to attend the 2012 Kerygma Conference. ‘Been attending The Feast with Kuya, Marvin and Natay but the KCON experience as my mentor shared with me if really different. Struggled with my school and work calendar at first but yes! God, thru my kuya, who gave me my KCON ticket for my 25th birthday, paved the way for me to experience KCON, hear God’s message and be blessed.

…and the list goes on! (There are still things which I intend to keep to myself) 

2012 IS THE YEAR – met new people, reunited with relatives and friends, learned new things, unlearned some, got frustrated, excited…and all throughout 2012, and as it has always been, I felt HE was with me – HE made HIS presence felt!

Feng shui experts say that those born on the year of the rabbit will have a hard time this year – well, I am now claiming that this will not be the case for me: I will have a richer experience, will do greater things and achieve greater heights – with my able God who never fails to shine His light through us and amaze us of life’s wonders – 2013 will be BRIGHTER.

Why I do the things I do

This is me thinking aloud.

We do what we do because we want to - this is passion.

We do what we do because we need to - this is responsibility.

We ask for things to happen because we want them to happen. Hoping that our prayers will be answered, we look forward to that particular day. However, it doesn't end there. Almost always, we have to give up something or at the least, compromise.

Spidey said, "with great power comes great responsibility". 

I'd like to believe that I am passionate in what I do - that I do the things I do because I want to.

But there are those times, just like now, when I find myself asking that busabos, "What are you doing this for?". I find myself being pulled by two forces: 

1) the first one telling me that I asked for this, so I have to live up to the expectations of people and be responsible (panindigan na lang). As much as I want to be positive and tell myself that this disengagement that I am going through is part of the process - "test kumbaga". And that once I am able to win over these, I will be a better person.

2) the second one is the skeptic child who asks, "what for?" and tells me, "you are just wasting your time!". Who are we to know if the things that we do today will be really worth something someday? But hey! This skeptic child wants to be certain and needs a panacea - "sigurista lang". We only live once and we can never turn back time or take back the time we spend in foolish stuff.

Busy people as much as people who want to appear busy would often complain, "so much to do, so little time". It sends a message that the person is having a hard time deciding what to do with the (little) time that he or she actually has. If I were to train myself, I would share the concept of Q2 Time Management with this busabos - what's urgent VS. what's important, learn to put first things first! BIG WORDS indeed! 

Everything that we do today is instrumental in shaping our future selves.

I guess, after writing my thoughts down, the dilemma is not between doing things out of passion or out of responsibility, it is more of being ready to what the future holds - how would would the things that we do now, both those which we willingly do and those which we are compelled to do, shape our future?

Problem solved? Nah! But at least I was able to write my thoughts down and establish a more sound dilemma (or so I think). I might also got you thinking of the things you do. Sorry if I did. Again, this is just me, thinking aloud. 

A year older

'Turned a year older last November 3. Admittedly and proudly, I can say that I am not the same person that I was 10 or even 5 years ago. Thanks to the people who stood beside me throughout my 24 years of existence - NaTay and kuya; my friends from Mindoro; batchmates,

orgmates, dormates from UPLB; friends and mentors from CSE, PeopleStrong and iPlus.

Learned a lot - I'd like to put it that way.

Persevered to get to where I am right now yet I know I still need to put a lot more effort if I am to be successful.

Failed several times but managed to stand up every time yet I know there are still mountains to climb to get to where I want to be.

Received praises from mentors as well as criticisms from other people yet I know feedback will still be there and I need to accept these if I am to be perfect.

Experienced my highs and lows yet I know my highest high and lowest low are yet to come, I will be resilient if I am to be strong.

I'm ready and looking forward. I'll go places. I'll grow stonger. I'll shine brighter.

HAVING A TASTE OF THE REAL CORPORATE WORLD: A note written to oneself to keep things in perspective.

As you march your way to get a hand to that diploma, a man in corporate clothing flashes in your mind. Carrying a suitcase, he proceeds to that glass door joining the swarm of people hurrying to the jam-packed elevator. Finally he enters his office with all familiar faces greeting him good morning and his secretary right behind his back briefing him of his schedule for the day. Subconsciously, you are already prepping yourself for the corporate world!

You have a pretty clear vision of what you want. All you have to do now is submit your applications to several top companies, take the exams, attend interviews and choose from the job offers that come your way. Suddenly you wake up and realized that you haven't received any JO's yet. You then open your email and send your resumes to the companies you consider next in rank to your priority list. A JO finally came your way and since it has already been 2 months since you graduated, you accepted it right away.

It's your first day at work and your work place looks nice and the people seems very accommodating. Day in - day out, you get acquainted with the norms of your work place - some things you like, most you hate. You now find yourself looking for another job. Now you finally had the chance to get thru one of the companies in your priority list. You survived the first day but on your 3rd week, you already find yourself struggling to even breathe amidst the people surrounding you who looked like Mr. and Ms. Nice guy/girl at first but now you consider bitches and monsters.

You now find yourself turning into one of the monsters you hated. While playing Plants VS. Zombies, you imagine your boss face who seemed to have mastered the art of delegation being ditched by frozen peas. You even ask God why wasn't he/she included in the bus bombing or the one caught shipping drugs and sentenced to death or even ask God why of all creatures create someone like him/her/it. You find your tested and proven assertive-style not working anymore - you're now more comfortable playing the role of the devil yourself.

This is reality. It’s a matter of looking at things. The satisfaction of a person depends on his attitude.

You now flood your head with quotes that should work to motivate you but aren't. So as to give it a better try, you read books. Maxwell... Coelho… but the only one that seems to work is Bob Ong's comic-relief booklets that makes you laugh your ass off.

(Light bulb! Moment) It's time for me to sit down and re-check my priorities and create a new career map! Maybe I should venture into becoming an entrepreneur! I'll create my own company and have things MY WAY. When I'm already the boss, I dictate how things will commence and shout at people who disobeys. IT'S PAY BACK TIME!

(Black-out) You don't have the capital. You don't have any business idea to start with. You don't have the right motives, right?

So what do we do now? Perhaps go to the high lands, play a role of a strawberry farmer or better, be a barista in one of the prime coffee shops up there while you are trying to figure out what you want. THIS WILL TAKE FOREVER!

This life is meant to be lived by trial and error - that, I would like to believe. So now it's "the more mistakes you commit, the more you learn" - NO. That's "over-positivizing" things.

Take a look back at your vision, what is being characterized in your dream? Basically two things, satisfaction and professional growth - if you happen to disagree with me, fine! Stop reading. Moving forward (I so hate this phrase!), these factors are determined by the nature of your work VS. your dream and the people surrounding you VS. yourself.

So it all boils down to me now huh?! Apparently YES. When you don't feel happy anymore with the things you are doing and with the people you're dealing with, you always have the option to move out. Then why are you still there despite all these bitches and monsters surrounding you? Factor number 2, professional growth - FACT: You know that there's a rainbow after the rain! You still believe that if you survive this chaotic, hell-like environment, you will become a better person. Someone who is more equipped - more than the technical knowledge, you now have the attitude to make it BIG out there. So be patient, take full control of yourself and your dream. As for the nature of your work and the people you are dealing with, just remember that at the end of the day, we just have to get things done at the highest level of quality possible and oh! We also have the freedom to choose who to befriend from the bunch of people we work with.

*illustration courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

The Future Looks Bright

The future looks bright, as of the moment it does.

It's been months since I wrote something here. Made some decisions. Moved up? Yes, I'd like to look at it that way.

The future looks bright, but I never imagined that such brightness would bring me much anxiety. Doubtful, I always am. Courageous, I'd like to look at it that way. I'm up for for challenges, things that would make my life more interesting. Passion to learn, have tons of it. Ask me to do something new and unfamiliar, I'll take the plunge. Do I deliver? Yes, for others. For me, I'm not that sure. I'm doubtful, indecisive - that should bring that justice.

Will I change, I hope so. I will work on it. I'm still young, I'll have plenty of time for that. For now, I'll go with the flow. Stand up for the challenges that come my way. Exert effort to continuously improve my self and perhaps prove to everyone that I'm worth that respect. I'll move up, definitely! My God is bigger than all my problems!

My Frustration

I want to be more that's why I read more.

The other night I started to read another book - it's about teaching. The 1st chapter reads - the first law of the teacher. It talks about our continuous need to grow - in mind, body, spirit and as part of a community. It says that we need to continuously grow because as teachers, we should be like running waters rather than a stagnant lake. It said that to grow, we must grow in all aspects of ourselves - that we should never compartmentalize religion (spirituality) with the others (intellectual, social, physical) and vice versa.

Now, my frustration.

As I read more books in my desire to grow and be more than what I already am, the things that I have to put into practice or apply in my everyday life grows like shit! There are areas in my life that admittedly, are left by a mile or two by other areas - does that explains why I am not yet the man I wish to be? Should I stop reading because instead of making me grow, it just makes me shrink into frustration?

Having been bombarded with the things that I should do in order to grow as a teacher and at large, as a man I realized that it was in the area of spirituality that I lack growth the most - not to mention the physical aspect.

I remember a friend saying that spirituality is different from being religious. As much as I want to agree with the statement, I get more and more confused.

All these authors that I've been reading says that it is the same - well, they never said it explicitly but as I understood their writings, they did. Fact is, I know the things that I should do as well as those things that I should avoid or refrain from doing but I just can't, I simply can't.

Just thinking about changing everything in my environment makes me feel like dying. I can't miss all these fun things! I can never be happy in a life of a boxed person - I'm an extrovert! But I know for a fact, that time will come that I have to choose and face the consequences of the decisions that I am making right now. Sooner or later, I will reap the harvest - will it be a fruitful one or the opposite? I don't know, none of us has the ability to know. For now, I'll just enjoy the mud, the sun, the heat, the rain as I sow seeds of friendship and love to this life that has been entrusted to me.

Love your work, Work for love, Work and love

Work gets routinary, we get bored, we resign, we find a new job, work gets routinary again, we get bored again, we resign again, we then find a new job AGAIN...and the search for a promising career to resignation becomes our ROUTINE a vicious cycle!

They say that all jobs will reach a point that things will become routinary, boring and demotivating. But what is the secret of successful professionals if this is true? How can someone enjoy doing something that he keeps on doing every minute of every day? Tell me about breathing. Is it a different thing? Sure it is! It's involuntary, and we need to breathe in order to be alive.

Having said that, is breathing really a different thing? Tell me...

They say it's passion. Passion is the love for the things that you do. Without passion for what we are doing, a person can stop at will, at anytime doing anything that he or she is pre-occupied with! It's optional - voluntary! Unlike breathing!

But isn't the will to live the reason behind breathing? Yes, breathing is involuntary but we have the option to engage in activities that will paralyze our lungs and STOP breathing, and DIE! Now, breathing and working may not be the same thing but isn't PASSION TO LIVE and PASSION TO PURSUE OUR DREAMS just the same? Passion is the ultimate reason for doing the things that we do.

How about love? How about waking up each morning seeing the same person beside you, going to work, going back home, having dinner, watching movies or just TV programs, having sex, sleeping and waking up just to the same thing all over again? Don't you have weekends? You may ask but that's just philosophizing things. So stop. Do we apply passion here? Passion to what?

By all means, YES! Apply passion in your love life! Passion to what? Is it plainly PASSION TO LOVE AND BE LOVED? Or is it as profound as PASSION TO GROW AND LEARN FROM AND FOR SOMEONE? I think it's actually relevant. First, ask ourselves what is it that sustains me to live with and care for this person? If we get answers that are temporal, think deeper. If nothing comes out, then maybe we don't have the PASSION and that we are just attracted and that we are not actually in love. So you leave the person you're with now? I don't know.

Bottomline is, for us to achieve self fulfillment, we have to have passion in our lives - in all aspects of it! This will sustain us to do the things that we do over and over again, fall in love with the same person each day and reach our full potential as an individual!

Still enjoying the feeling of being with old friends and revisiting the fresh air and green landscape of my beloved UPLB.

It's almost two years now since I graduated and started working. Worked for 2 companies already. Met new people, made new friends, learned new things, unlearned some things - yet, I still would like to go back to the times when I was just walking across the freedom park from the dorm to my class.

Elbi really taught me a lot. Setting aside those lectures, fieldtrips and other academe-bound activities, I really learned a lot. I learned to be independent. I learned to face the consequences of my actions without the comfort of my bed - in our house. I learned to make new friends and socialize. I learned to drink, smoke and stay up late for DOTA. It was really a mix of good and bad things - it was a rich experience spending 4 years in elbi. The friends I've made and bond committed with elbi's ground is so strong that I can't seem to get away from it. I will always go back to elbi no matter what.